Football transfer rumours: Real Madrid to move for Raheem Sterling?

It was a foolproof plan that always succeeded, Tom striding off into the sunset with his prize of freshly frying-panned mouse (seriously, will make sure this is all correct shortly) tucked under one arm. The ultimate victory for the little guy, the one we were all rooting for, the maligned mog (yep, we've had a look and this is definitely all A-OK) over the more powerful and overbearing rodent, the Guardian reports. Much as Tom was the underdog (or undercat) and dark horse (or dark cat), Real Madrid are similarly plucky upstarts keen on reversing traditional power structures and giving the big boys what for. To this end, much like Tom with his cheese, they are seemingly intent on luring someone into their lair, that someone in this case being Raheem Sterling. Apparently the young Liverpool flyer has caught the eye of Real, and they are keen to lure him over to Madrid with their own version of a trail of cheese - namely, cash, and loads of it. Liverpool would prefer it if this didn't happen, so they're going to give their man a new contract instead, a can't fail strategy that has served them well before. Things haven't gone exactly to plan for Juan Mata at Manchester United, so far. Sure, he's scored a few goals and set up a few more, but he recently suffered the ghastly indignity of having his place in the team nabbed by Wayne Rooney, and hasn't quite been the creative saviour that many thought and hoped he would be. And now, according to the old word on the street, he might be cordially invited to do one in the direction of Atlético Madrid, providing the Spanish club send central defender Miranda the other way. Chelsea are also thought to be keen on the defender, but would a 30-year-old stopper who couldn't get in that shambles of a Brazil squad at the World Cup really be worth their while? Speaking of Brazilians who don't exactly continue their country's fine tradition of being good at football, robust midfielder Anderson may have found his level. That level is the exciting new Indian Super League, which as you'll obviously know begins in three weeks, and FC Pune City have a large hole in their midfield, and they think Anderson is just the man to fill it, apparently. Do your own work with that one. The benefit of this to United is not only that they will be rid of a significant amount of dead weight, but that it will happen post-haste, with Pune keen to take their man sharpish to join the likes of Adrian Mutu and David Trezeguet in their ranks. It's not just players streaming out of United, mind, with Wolfsburg's Swiss defender Ricardo Rodriguez apparently keen to compete with Marcus Rojo for the ropiest trendy haircut in the United back line. He'll cost a pretty penny, with current club Wolfsburg said to be insisting on a fee of something like €30million, which would make this one unlikely as United have displayed in recent months that they simply will not overpay for players out of desperation to boost their quality-deficient ranks. United look like they'll be busy little puppies in January, because they are one of a gaggle of clubs said to be elbowing each other in the ribs for a chance to bag Leicester child Hamza Choudhury, a 16-year-old midfielder stirring previously dormant feelings in the hearts of scouts everywhere, apparently. Real Madrid, Barcelona and Chelsea are also in the running, so you can be sure it's going to be a dignified chase. Frankie Lampard is having fun at the moment, what with scoring against Chelsea and generally looking weird in a Manchester City shirt. Indeed, Manuel Pellegrini has apparently decided the old boy is having so much fun in light blue that he'd like there to be even more fun, and is looking at keeping his man for a bit longer than the currently stated cut-off point of January. One would think transfer talks between New York City and Manchester City would be relatively brief given that, well, they're basically the same thing, but apparently NYC will tell their English brothers to take a hike, because there's a grits over-easy on rye sandwich from Katz's deli waiting for Frankie in Manhattan, and they ain't keeping it for no-one else. Or they want him to play for them when the MLS season starts. One of the two. Possibly both. Finally, because life isn't fair and we'll all have to get used to reading this for the next nine months, there are some numbers floating around connected to Cristiano Ronaldo. Depending on which source you believe, he'll cost Manchester United £140million, £160million or £200million to bring back ‘home', those figures including transfer fees, wages, incentives, clauses, bonuses and the cost of 80,000 fans to cool and calm down a stadium-full of swooning Mancunians. All of which will be rendered moot when Real Madrid eventually give him the new contract he's very obviously angling for, but you've got to find some way to pass the time, eh?