Football transfer rumours: Jan Vertonghen to Manchester United?

Petr Cech won't sit around on the bench at Chelsea for the rest of his career. He's either off to Arsenal, or if José Mourinho has his way, anyone but Arsenal. Milan meet that particular remit. Arsenal will console themselves with a bid for Benfica defender Maxi Pereira. Liverpool are in for the Uruguay international too, but Brendan Rodgers is destined to spend the rest of the season staring exactly one thousand yards into the distance, not really focusing on anything as his eyes fill up with a hot, salty discharge, and Dejan Lovren performs his act. Arsenal have also hatched plans to replace Arsène Wenger with Pep Guardiola. There's a reason we've left this one until last, and it's got nothing to do with going out on a high, or leaving the audience wanting more, the Guardian reports.