Cycling is good for you… and other peddled lies

03:20, 2 May 2013

LONDON. May 2. KAZINFORM In n the absence of anything resembling traditional religion these days, a curious collection of secular sacraments has begun to fill the spiritual vacuum. Being one of those lucky few who are on hand to help a beached pilot whale back into the ocean is probably as good as it gets in the index of modern sacred happenings. The dying whale seems to represent the ultimate sacrifice in nature's endless cycle of death and rebirth. Although it's probably best to gloss over the fact that when the big chaps inadvertently hit the sand they already know the game is up. After that, they probably want simply to breathe their last amid seagulls and starfish instead of being manhandled and violated by scores of wailing and screeching sympathisers attempting to hump it back into the sea, The guardian reported.

The next time you see one of these poor creatures expiring quietly on the beach, just leave it alone and say a quick prayer to Neptune if you really must. Panda births and lunar eclipses are also considered to be most venerable in the cosmic pantheon. Indeed, if Tian Tian does give birth at Edinburgh Zoo later this year, those lucky enough to have been on the premises at the sacred moment will be entitled to sport saffron robes for the rest of their lives.

If new pandas and old whales and spooky moons are the secular world's beatitudes, then urban cycling has become its prayer and meditation; inScotland we don't build churches any more, only cycle lanes. To be a cyclist in lowland Scotland is to have reached the absolute zenith of the human condition. Thus we find ourselves in the middle of a campaign to presume guilt on the part of motorists in any road accidents involving cyclists. The proponents of this extraordinary nonsense tell us that, as cyclists can't kill you and cars do, then automotive vehicles must be presumed guilty in any incidents involving cyclists.

I feel moved to state here that I'm not averse to a wee pedal myself from time to time, but I feel that doing so in built-up areas is the height of irresponsibility and displays an arrogant and high-handed attitude to the concerns of other road-users. All that countryside with which we have been blessed in Scotland, all those hills and lochs - they have been put here for a reason. It's to provide a natural facility for people who insist on spending a disproportionate part of their lives running, cycling and climbing. Cities are for cars, buses and trains. They are where people go to work hard and drink seriously. There is ample room in the countryside for frivolous people who want to affect healthiness and happiness and sport ridiculous millinery and garish apparel.

Tourism and Sport Sport